just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
