It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
