Do you still have your period?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
