What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
