they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
