Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
