Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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