Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
