I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
