Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
