we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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