Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
