Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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