Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize