awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
