I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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