Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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