This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
