K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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