Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
