can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
