we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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