There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
