WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
