thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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