sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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