Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
