had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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