Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
