you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize