is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
