What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
