I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
