Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
