She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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