take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
