No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
