So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
COCAINE IS GR8
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
