Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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