CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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