just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
