I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i believe in u and ur pee
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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