If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
