if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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