Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
