I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
