Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
