Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
