im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize