he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
birth control should be required to get into college
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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