she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
