I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize