Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
