yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
