sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize