I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
