We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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