just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
this will be a night to untag.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize