Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
either way he was missing a nipple.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
