Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
