I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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