How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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