ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
