Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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