Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
