in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize