Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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