Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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