We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
