He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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