Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My feet surprised me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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