I must be too annoying 4 u.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I will pee on everything he values.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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