If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
