I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
